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Labor Day, Part 1

September 4, 2006

Well it’s Labor Day, so I figured I would write about my labor. With my kids, I mean. 🙂

With Trevor, my water broke around midnight on June 11, 1994. I had been asleep for about two hours at the time and woke up to this gush of water between my legs. I was mortified, because I thought I had wet the bed! Once I was more awake I suspected that my water had broken. I got up, cleaned up, and called the doctor’s answering service. The doctor called me back and after asking me a few questions, informed me that yes, my water had broken and I should go to the hospital.

We get there, check in and wait. And wait… and wait… and wait! Nothing was happening! No contractions at all. Meanwhile I am too excited and nerved up to sleep. Some time around dawn I asked for something to eat because I was hungry and was politely informed that I could have nothing but ice chips. What the…?!?!? No one told me that. I would have eaten before I’d left home if I knew.

At 9 AM they gave me pitocin to induce labor. That was pretty slow working too, considering I hadn’t had a single contraction yet. By noon I was STARVING and scavenging for food… I finally found two Tums in my purse and ate them right away. Later that afternoon the contractions finally got to be bad enough that I asked for an epidural. The way I look at it, an epidural is our just reward for having to put up with getting mammograms. The nurse thought I should just sit in a chair for a while. No, sitting in the chair did not help, and I would like my epidural NOW please, thankyouverymuch!

I got the epidural and around 7:30 that evening they finally told me it was time to push. I asked them to turn the full length mirror around so that I couldn’t see what was happening — good Lord, I would have passed out for sure!

(See, there was this time in 9th grade when we had to watch a childbirth film in Health class. All well and good, but it wasn’t one of those “the miracle of life” films, it was more like “what to do if you’re in a bomb shelter and a pregnant woman goes into labor.” And there was a camera RIGHT THERE between the pregnant lady’s legs and it was showing everything head on. I started feeling bad so I asked my teacher if I could be excused and left. I made it halfway down the hall when I fainted and fell into the open dorway of a 10th grade geometry class. My glasses broke and I ended up with shards of broken glass inside my eye. A trip to the emergency room and 9 stitches later, I was good as new, getting contacts, and my teachers never had a problem excusing me from anything that showed a little blood, like King Lear. Really, it’s a wonder I ever had kids at all after that.)

Okay, back to the labor…. obviously, I didn’t want to pass out during my own labor and delivery, so I wasn’t taking any chances with having to see what was going on. Good grief, if I had seen her give me the episiotomy, I would have lost it for sure. They turned the mirror around but I could still see a reflection up on the TV screen, so we had to turn the TV on. The movie “Tootsie” was showing, followed by “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

When it was time to push, they tried cutting back the epidural so I could push and I fell to pieces, sobbing, “I can’t do this!” My ex-husband put his hand on top of my head to “help” me push and to this day I don’t like anyone touching the top of my head. The doctor suggested putting the epidural back the way it was and once I was comfortably numb, boom, I pushed that baby out without any problem at all, and Trevor entered the world shortly after 8:00 PM.

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