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My Eyes Are Green Because I Eat a Lot of Vegetables

July 24, 2006

This post’s title, in case you’re wondering, is excerpted from the lyrics of an Erykah Badu song that Dan found for me a few years ago. The song is about a woman who sees her ex with a new gal, and she’s telling him that she’s not jealous… that her “green eyes” are from eating lots of vegetables.

I’ve been struggling with envy and covetousness lately. It started last weekend, when we were hosting a dinner for 5 people from church. As I was getting ready, I realized that I didn’t have enough matching plates to do 7 table settings. Nor placemats. Nor glasses. I made an emergency trip to Wal Mart for 8 matching placemats and 8 glasses.

It was during that phase of preparing for dinner guests that a spirit of discontent came over me. I looked around at my surroundings — the table and chairs (we also lack eight chairs, and had to use three folding chairs for our dinner guests!), the living room sofa & loveseat that are older than Trevor, not to mention the ugly avocado green kitchen — and I saw them as a first time guest in our home would see them. And I was embarrassed.

I felt like I hadn’t made any progress since I’d first gone out on my own after graduating from college in 1988. There are very few things in our house that were purchased new… almost everything we own was either bought second hand or received as a castoff from a friend or relative that didn’t want it any more.

And while normally I would be pleased with our thrifty lifestyle, there comes a time when a woman wants to be able to set a table for eight and be pleased with the way it looks. Particularly if she is about to turn 40. I’m a grown up now, there’s no denying it. I should have grown up things, not just second hand junk.

To make matters worse, I found out that one of our dinner guests is coincidentally from the same home town as me and had the same high school Spanish teacher I did. She told me that she had graduated from high school just four years before I did. She is only four years older than me, and she is an elementary school principal. Me, I’m a stay at home mom trying to scrape together a little profit from eBay (which is getting to be more difficult by the time they take their proverbial pound of flesh).

I should add that it seems like everything here has needed to be repaired or replaced this summer. A transmission sensor in my car ($600). the pool pump ($300) and the as-yet-unrepaired irrigation pump, carpet steam cleaner, attic ductwork, and clothes dryer.

So, I’ve been guilty of making comparisons — which I know I shouldn’t do, because nothing good comes from it — and being envious of others/coveting that which I do not have. After praying about it for a week or so, I was starting to come out of this envy-driven funk, becoming satisfied with my life as it is now, realizing that it is for a season and that my riches are in heaven.

Then on Saturday, as I was coming back from the grocery store, I looked down at my hand and noticed to my horror that the large diamond from my engagement ring was gone. Broken right off. And I had no idea where it could be. Possibly at home, or possibly in the car, the grocery store, the parking lot… maybe even in one of the boxes of yard sale stuff that I had re-packed and relocated when our sale got canceled due to rain.

Here’s what my ring used to look like:

ringthen.jpg

And here’s what it looks like now:

ringnow1.jpg

Needless to say, I was devastated. I cried non-stop for about an hour, I think, and choked up again every time I looked at my ring. After spending so much time feeling sorry for myself about what I didn’t have, to then lose the one valuable thing that I did own was a hard blow. Doubly so because it has a high sentimental value as well.

But then yesterday I got some perspective. I realized that it was pretty silly of me to be that worked up about it. After all, I still have my husband, and he is way more valuable than any diamond!

I’m praying that God will direct me to the diamond. I know better than to try and tear everything apart looking for it. (The phrase “needle in a haystack” comes to mind.) I am going to call the insurance company that we have our homeowners policy with and find out if this is covered. In the mean time, when I look at that gaping hole where my diamond used to be, I’m just going to thank God that I still have Dan.

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3 comments

  1. (( HUGS ))

    I am so sorry .. and you are such a better person than me being able to put it in that perspective. I’d still be bawling my eyeballs out.


  2. Wow, even without the diamond, that is a beautiful ring!
    Here’e some perspective…
    Forget about being forty. (Yes, I know, in a few short years, someone will have to tell me that!)
    If all of the fancy trimmings for a home were important to you, you would be out working full time to have those things. INSTEAD, you have chosen to be home with your children for the few years that they are children. You give your family so much more than “stuff”. What you give cannot be bought, broken, or replaced.
    My husband would appreciate the need for everyone to having matching glasses, etc. He likes everything to be even and balanced Me? I kinda like the mismatched look. šŸ™‚


  3. […] Old news, but I did get my diamond replaced through homeowner’s insurance (NO deductible, either… yippee!). The best part is that […]



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