The Original Multitasking Mama

• This is when you vote libertarian.
• None of the Above ‘08
• Hitler gave great speeches too.
• I hated Bush way before it was cool.
• When Bush took office, gas was $1.46.
• Nobody died when Clinton lied.
• We’re doomed.  Apathy ‘08

All of these stickers — and many more! — can be found at CafePress.

I’m feeling rather opinionated today, so here are my proclamations on the right way (aka my way) of doing certain things.

Toilet Paper should be hung on the roller with the end on the front of the roll.

Silverware should be placed in the dishwasher so that no two pieces are in the same compartment facing in the same direction.  (In other words, if you absolutely MUST put two teaspoons in the same compartment of the silverware basket, one should be up and the other should be down.)

Groceries should be placed on the conveyor belt at check out in the following order:  frozen –> refrigerated –> produce –> fragile items (like bread or potato chips) –> all other food items –> non-food items.

Paper Clips should be separated by size.  The big jumbo size paper clips can’t intermingle with the smaller number ones.

Christmas Tree Lights should be clear.  Period.

I got a new spice rack this week and it is absolutely wonderful! I previously owned a 12-jar spice rack, but found two major problems with it. One, I own more than 12 spices (and as I try new recipes, the number keeps creeping upward). Two, the pretty glass jars that came with that rack hold slightly less than the bottles I buy at the grocery store… which meant that I had a full jar on the spice rack and a mostly-but-not-quite empty jar on the counter next to it.

A couple of months ago, I ran across this spice rack, which I thought might be an answer to my spice rack dilemma. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to spend $30-35 on a plastic box. Then I found some discount codes and a free shipping deal, and I bought it.

It is the most wonderful thing to ever grace my kitchen! This spice rack holds 27 full-size or 54 half-size bottles, yet the entire cabinet is just 8″H x 11″W x 10¾”D. It barely takes up more room than my old rack! Definitely worth every penny!

One of my current office tasks is reviewing the resumes that are emailed to my boss for a managerial opening. When I opened the latest one and scrolled down to the cover letter, I was surprised to see that it started like this:

To Hume it May Concern,

Oddly enough, the prospective applicant goes on to tout his “attention to detail.” Yikes.

It’s 4 AM and I’ve just had a bad dream.

In the dream, I was looking out the window when all of a sudden a massive band of trash appeared in the cloudless sky. I kept staring at the trash, trying to figure out what it was and pick out individual items. I could see pillows, mattresses, computer monitors and countless other smaller things. I was pondering how it all ended up in the sky and why it seemed to be encircling the earth in a ribbon when all of a sudden there was the most horrific cracking sound, as if the sky itself had ripped open.

The ribbon of trash turned a brilliant, blinding white, shattered into pieces and fell into the ocean. (At this point I realize I am not at home in the dream, but rather at a hotel at our local resort town.) At first I am relieved because the menacing oddity has disappeared from my view.

But then I realize with abject horror that the force of so many items being dropped into the water has created a tidal wave. We are several floors up in my dream (a detail which was not revealed until the moment) and I quickly surmise that the wave is going to engulf us. I tun to Dan to tell him what has happened.

He tells me, quietly so the children can’t hear him, that we don’t stand a chance. We are about to die and all we can do is wait for it to happen.

At that point, my brain tells me I’ve had enough of this dream, thankyouverymuch, and I wake up.

I have no doubt as to where the trash element and the “earth is protesting her mistreatment” theme came from. Yesterday afternoon I did some scrapbooking and one layout was on the ridiculous Trash People exhibit I’d seen in DC. In my journaling, I commented that many of the Trash People were composed of materials that could have been recycled — soda cans, computer parts, etc. Also, lately I’ve been wondering if typhoons, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and other weather disasters have been happening more frequently. It seems like they have.

What I don’t understand is the underlying cause of the dream. Why this dream? Why now? What underlying anxiety is messing with my head while I’m sleeping?

Kentucky, or at least the part of it that we visited, is really big on caves. There are loads of caves, ranging from the Mammoth Cave (a national park) to many smaller caves. With so many to choose from, it’s hard to decide which one you want to visit for your Kentucky cave experience.

Luckily, we all agreed that the Lost River Cave might be the most interesting. Why? Well, because it has a river. A river that you can actually ride a boat on. Into the cave. Sounds exciting, huh?

Once I got past the discomfort of having to enter the cave leaning over like I was getting an epidural, I enjoyed the little boat ride through the dark water and cavern. Our tour guide was great and he told us all about the history of the site, which was formidable. It was the site of Civil War camps for both Union and Confederate soldiers (although not, I’m guessing, at the same time), rumored to be a hideout for the notorious bank robber Jesse James, and even housed an underground night club for about 30 years.  We even got to see some cave wildlife, such as a frog and a couple of blind crawfish.  Thankfully, we didn’t see any bats or I might have had to jump ship and swim out of the cave.  *shudder*

The inside of the cave was too moist and dark for me to take any decent pictures, but here’s a shot of the boat that we rode in.

Also at Lost River, there was a Butterfly Habitat. I had never been to such a place before and really wasn’t expecting much but it turned out to be a lovely experience. The flowers inside were beautiful and so were the butterflies. It was very peaceful. Click here to see one photo I took of a monarch butterfly. Here’s another photo of Sophia loking at a butterfly that landed on her hand:

(I know, it looks like she’s pinching its legs — I freaked out a little when I first saw it.  Thankfully, she was just holding her finger and thumb together.  The butterfly is actually sitting on the side of her thumb.)

After Lost River, we got some lunch and went thrift shopping. I know, that seems a bit odd, but Noodle and I love bargain hunting and nothing is quite as fun as bargain hunting in a new town. She scored a hot pink Von Dutch purse (or maybe it was a bowling bag; we aren’t really sure) and I got a few things for eBay. Not too much, though, since I’m not listing much these days.

That evening Dan and Skeeter went to see “Iron Man” while Noodle and I took the kids to the hotel pool.

Which reminds me… the hotel we stayed at was the Drury Inn and I highly recommend the chain! They have free long distance, free hot breakfast, free wireless internet access, and free evening snacks and cocktails. Their motto is something like “extras shouldn’t be extra.” It was so nice to have a *free* hearty breakfast waiting for us in the lobby cafe every morning!  I think our next vacation might have to be a town with a Drury hotel. 

We left home at 6:30 AM on May 21 to begin the journey to Bowling Green, KY. Google Maps said that it would take 12.5 hours, which seemed perfectly doable. I figured we would be there with at least an hour or two to catch up with Noodle and her family before going to bed.

Unfortunately, a series of mishaps extended our trip by several hours. The night before we left my cell phone wouldn’t charge and then it died altogether. So we had to stop at a Verizon store to get a new one. That was bad. The swapped my phone for an identical model and didn’t even charge us. That was good. They didn’t recover my contact list, however, and that was bad. We probably lost an hour there altogether, between waiting for the new phone and Dan getting a tech support call from his office.

Somehow, I got turned around and started heading toward home instead of toward Kentucky. Had it happened anyplace else, I have no idea how long it would have taken me to figure out what was happening. But it happened in the Washington DC suburbs where I used to live, and I realized that the surroundings were becoming more familiar instead of less familiar. I got myself heading the right way again, but I figure we probably lost another half hour or so. My 12.5 hour trip is now up to 14 hours.

Just before we headed into West Virginia, we came to a spot where the middle of a mountain had been cut out for the highway. Traffic came to a complete stop and my “Low Fuel Level” indicator was beeping at me. I cut off the engine and waited. While we sat there, we saw a Medevac helicopter, ambulance, police and tow truck. When traffic finally got moving again, we saw a little bit of the wreckage. It was a motorcycle accident, which made me smack Dan’s leg and say, “That’s why I don’t like you riding one of those things!” Then I added a hasty, “Because I love you.” Another 45 minutes or so lost. 15 hours!

I drove through most of West Virginia and it was a hoot. The speed limit is 70 my per hour!  The roads are all twisty and curvy, which is fun when you’re driving but apparently not so much so if you’re a passenger. Dan said he felt like he was on a roller coaster. Just before we entered Kentucky, we headed into Huntington WV, home of “We Are Marshall” Marshall University.

We stopped for dinner at Hillbilly Hot Dogs and it was hysterical. The place is decorated as you would expect, given its name, with signs like “If you hit it on the run, we’ll put it on a bun.” There was an outhoose booth in the restaurant, as well as a booth made from a bathtub, and a table made from a tire. The wait staff was very friendly, and there were plenty of kitschy decorations to look at while we waited for our food. Dan was crazy brave enough to order The Home Wrecker, a 3.5 pound hot dog loaded with all sorts of toppings. If he ate it all, they said, within 12 minutes, he would get a free tee shirt.

12 minutes semeed like a generous amount of time until they brought it out. It was HUGE!

Dan ate and ate but alas, did not finish his meal. Hhere’s what he looked like when they said “Time’s Up!”

And here’s all that was left:

At the checkout they had pictures of someone who had finished the Home Wrecker in a record time of 1 minute 56 seconds. He was a German Shepherd.

Back on the road, we left WV and entered Kentucky, finally arriving at our hotel in Bowling Green around 11:30 our time (10:30 local time)… 17 hours or so after we’d left home. I have never been so happy to see a bed in my life.

Oh, and let me just say that I have the best kids in the world when it comes to traveling. They were real troopers — kept themselves entertained and hardly complained about being stuck in the car all day.

Monday –

Tuesday – Girl Scout meeting tonight at 6:30.  We’ll have our quick dinner standby of chicken sandwiches, macaroni & cheese, and baked beans.

Wednesday – ham, pierogies, peas & carrots

Thursday – It’s my dad’s birthday, so we’ll be taking him out for dinner.

Friday – Sophia’s birthday party at 5:30.  We’ll be ordering pizza.

Saturday – Trevor’s favorite chicken & rice, served with broccoli.

Sunday – leftovers or snacking.

I’m going to take a little break from blogging for the next week or so.  But before I sign off, here are a few things of interest that I’ve found.

Author tells grads they need to, like, speak properly.  (Lynne Truss would be so proud!)

The most creative cupcakes I’ve ever seen. (So artistic it would be a shame to eat them!)

15 Places Every Kid Should See.  (Trevor has seen three, Sophia has seen two.  I’ve seen four.  We’d better get moving!)

Tired of packing the same old lunch?  If you’re tired of packing it, your kids are probably tired of eating it, too.  Check out these creative (and varied) school lunches!

Are Bigger Portions to Blame for Bigger Waistlines?  Probably not completely, but it’s certainly contributed to America’s growing obesity problem. 

The Internet Causes ADD.  (I confess, I skimmed through the article.)

New Trends in Swimwear.  Can I hear a hallelujah?

I am sitting at my desk listening to the low gutteral growl of an unhappy cat.

Valentine went to the vet today for his annual check up and shots.  He’s so easy-going, he didn’t mind strangers handling him at all.  At least not until the vet took his temperature.  At that point he decided that he’d had quite enough of the whole veterinary experience, thankyouverymuch, and he tried to make a beeline for the door (through me).  It wasn’t any better with the two shots that followed the rude temperature-taking procedure.  He actually got away from the vet in the middle of the first injection, leaving some medicine on his fur instead of inside his body.

However, once we left, he was downright mellow.  He didn’t meow or complain on the ride home, and he’s been pretty dopey the rest of the evening.  He is oh-so-happy to be home.

Daisy, on the other hand, is fit to be tied.  Every time she gets near Valentine she smells the medicine on him and starts hissing, growling, and slapping at him.  (And when she’s really worked up, she actually SNORTS!)   In truth, she only has to be within 6 feet of him before she starts letting out this low growl, warning him not to come near her.  I’ve never seen her react so violently to a scent (not even Rat Cat) and it’s been amusing to watch.  I tried to get photos but the angle and movement made it too difficult to get a shot that sufficiently captures her crazed hostility.

Hopefully by morning the smell will have worn off and they will resume their normal level of hostility toward each other.  This has been a little intense to watch.